They thought I was a tumor...
Actually, for the first seven months of my in-utero existence, no one even knew I was there. My mom just thought she was gaining weight. My dad only noticed that she was running much slower at the gym. It was when her stomach puffed out like a beach ball did she think something might be truly wrong.
The doctor told her, "You have a tumor...with a heartbeat."
Fast forward 28 years, and I also noticed I was gaining weight like crazy. After spending my life teasing my mom, I found myself in an almost-exact same position, only I was four months pregnant instead of seven.
And that's life. I now spend my days chasing kids and feeding dogs, and sometimes, if I time it just right, I get to escape into my writing.